Healing after divorce takes time! Immediately after divorce, the effects of the loss can feel overwhelming, especially if there are added stress factors. In this “divorce recovery” time be gentle on yourself and allow the emotions to surface. If you feel the desire to scream, yell, cry or physically exert yourself know that you are “normal”. Find healthy alternative ways to release the emotions, but do release them.
Healing after divorce
Some suggestions:
- Work out at the gym – pump the weights, push yourself to the limits (safely), take long walks
- Go for a drive in the country and let out that scream when it feels good and you aren’t going to scare the tar of some innocent bystander.
- Do something exciting and different that may be a fear for you, but releases endorphins, like zip line, snow ski, swim, run, ride a horse, take a brief holiday, challenging yourself within your limits.
- Get out into nature – take the camera and allow yourself to get right into the moment with what you are experiencing.
- Write a journal of your emotions or a letter to your ex venting all your emotions (send it, burn it, or save it).
As you choose healthy ways to vent your pent up emotions you will feel better and if you have children from divorce you are teaching them how they can find deliberate, healthy choices. The important thing here is that you need to be aware of the emotions and allow you and your children ways of dealing with them that will not keep you in resistance of bringing back joy and hope into your lives.
It is important to note that it’s not advisable to discuss the reasons for or why in regards to the divorce. Your children need to hear positive affirmations in regards to the fact they are still loved by both parents, they have no fault in regards to the divorce and life is not going to end because their parents are no longer together. As for yourself, talk with understanding friends but remember they are friends, not therapists. Get professional help and support to move you forward faster and more effectively. Start today as a new day in the rest of your life. Make choices for yourself that align with your goals and wishes. Allow yourself the ability to live exactly the way you want. You can do it, everyone can do it, some simply need a little more direction and time than others.
