What is bullying and how can you most effectively protect your child and prevent further bullying? As a parent witnessing the effects of bullying on your child can induce feelings of anger, revenge and blame.
Who are the Bullies
-A bully is someone that has a low self-esteem, feels unworthy and lacks self-love.
-A bully uses anger, frustration, and feelings of unworthiness to exert them self as a defense from feeling mad, sad, lonely, or to prove what they believe about them self is true.
-A bully mirrors behavior and actions of peers and believes the only way to ‘fit in’ is to use their physical aggression, rather than intellectual intelligence.
-A bully needs to act out in senseless negative ways to cover and mask their own inner feelings of being not good enough.
-Bullies want to be loved, appreciated and belong, just like everyone does. They’re willing to do whatever they believe it takes to be noticed, get attention, express the anger, self-doubts, hate or despair they feel.
When you recognize the behavior of a bully and can analyze why they choose to use negative feelings to dis-empower other people you could pity them. It’s unfortunate that they feel unloved so much that they feel the need to act in anger and sadness. However, when it’s your child at the receiving end of the bullies physical assault your thoughts are often irrational.
If you’re a bully and know it, let go of the belief that you aren’t good enough and focus on the great things you are good at, put your intelligence to good use. If you’re being bullied, let go of the thoughts you aren’t good enough, strong enough or unable to stop being bullied. You matter, are awesome, can build strength emotional & physically and defend yourself. Physical retaliation is not the answer!
How to deal with bullies
If you are a parent and witness bullying, blaming & criticizing friends, teachers, peers is a symptom that, unless corrected will grow. Don’t ignore the bullying thinking it’s a phase or ‘normal’. Encourage and support your children to look for the good in others. Teach gratitude and allow your children to believe they can be, do or over-come all challenges. What are the gifts of positive behavior your child has? How can you praise, acknowledge and encourage these gifts to be skills that empower them?
If bullies were recognized, and someone cared enough to support and nurture them to shift how they feel, how much better could life be for everyone? Young bullies grow up to be controlling abusive adults.
Change has to start somewhere. It takes at least one person to make a difference. Be that person! Ignoring inappropriate behavior until harm is done is negligence. As parents, individuals, peers who can make a difference it is up to each and every one of us to become aware of what’s going on around us and take inspired action to create a positive difference.
Burying our head in sand will never be productive, just as ignoring bad behavior will not improve it. Bullies aren’t born to bully, they are created through limiting beliefs. A bully’s learned limiting self-image allows them to believe they are mean, and the only way they can get attention is to prove to everyone else they are mean. Through that proof they continue to manifest reactions that continue to prove they are mean, and so on until one day when it may be too late they have lost the opportunities that may have attracted a better situation.
How to protect your child from bullying
How many of us have had a mentor, teacher, leader, parent, preacher, or peer who inspired us enough to change our current belief to one more empowering?
If you are reading this and recognize a situation that needs attention it’s time to stop being afraid of getting involved and take inspired action. Many people keep their thoughts to themselves and never take action out of fear of getting involved where they don’t belong. Don’t be that person.
How many lives could have been saved if someone took inspired action when they first noticed a bully in a playground? Too many children have committed suicide as a result of being bullied or feeling unworthy. Turning away and ignoring bad behavior only gives a bully proof they are not worthy.
Change has to take place, starting with each of us.
It’s up to each and every one of us to step up and speak up to stop bullying now. Make a difference in your neighborhood. Make a difference one child, one person at a time and allow children who are bullies or are bullied to adopt a healthier, happier personal perspective. Inspire them to believe in them selves for good in life.
