Step parenting isn’t easy, but it can be the most rewarding and satisfying lifetime experience. As a step-parent our influence has lasting effects on children. Like parenting in general we must earn love and respect. We are the example children should look up to. If we have unresolved issues of our own it is our responsibility to resolve them without involving children. If our children or step children have unresolved issues it is up to us to guide, support and help them solve their problems efficiently and effectively
As a parent, be it step, foster, adoptive, or biological, children do not belong to us. Every child has a mind, a spirit, a body that is as individual as their fingerprint. It is the responsibility in a parenting role to guide and protect a child until legal age.
Any time any one of us act from the egotistical place of who we are there is a feeling of ownership.
Let go of that!
Let go of the thought that you are ‘control’ and allow yourself and child the opportunity to make mistakes, learn from them and grow.
Does this mean there are rules? Of course! We all are required to live by rules, or a certain standard to co-exist. The key word being “co” exist. Meaning working together, effectively communicating and creating the most beneficial experience for ALL involved.
Solution to step parenting problems
Effective communication without blame, judgement, criticism or excessive authority allows all participants whether it be family, friends or business associates a beneficial guideline. Rules and consequences are part of co-existing in co-operation.
- Ask questions, never make assumptions.
- Discuss options and consequences that are fair to all parties concerned.
- Make agreements and sign the agreement, visible as a reminder.
- Consistently and constantly review, modify and discuss.
- Give appreciation, affirmation and credit often.
- Be flexible.
- Show respect and expect respect in return.
- Never, never assume anything.
Have fun. Step parenting, or parenting doesn’t need to be stressful. If you need help, ask for help and don’t be afraid to admit you need help. Everything you do is an example. Be the best example you can be.
One day it will all be over and you can never re-do it so enjoy it while it’s here.
