Healing after divorce is absolutely essential before moving forward. Too often post divorce the feelings of anger, revenge, remorse, shame, blame, low self-esteem consume every waking minute. Thoughts or feelings like this only hurt the one actually feeling them, not the one who may have caused them. Pent up emotions are like a knot in your stomach, or ache in your heart that when held onto for too long will create disease
Mental clarity is clouded with tension and thoughts on the past, physically the body is tight and lack of sleep contributes to sluggishness. The vibration of what’s going on inside of you is evident to those around you can’t possibly attract all the riches, positive relationships and joy you want or deserve.
How to recover after Divorce
What can you do to start healing after divorce?
- Change your thoughts.
- Change your actions.
- Change your habits.
Learn from the past by taking responsibility for what you allowed to happen. As harsh as that seems, especially if your spouse seemed to be the cause of divorce (an affair, abuse, addiction, etc.). The facts are the facts. What was done has been done and it is the result you now must confront so you can live your life better. Finding a way to be grateful for the circumstances may feel impossible and yet when you can appreciate how you have survived and hopefully will thrive after divorce from the experience you will be happier. Without healing after divorce the chances of repeating mistakes, attracting a relationship similar to the past is more likely to occur.
Take necessary time to heal after divorce. Like any loss there is a grieving period. Normalcy no matter how dysfunctional it may have been has changed. If you can invite this change. Embrace the change and take advantageous of what life can offer in the change. You will get through it, the feelings will pass and accepting what now ‘is’ allows you to plan for a brighter future. Begin to imagine, visualize and design the future as you would like it to be.
Every fault or aggravating characteristic of previous relationships can be viewed as a gift for now you know what you don’t want in your life. List these faults and for every fault find an opposite. The opposite list will become your focus of desire of what you choose to attract in new relationships. By doing this you become a deliberate, and positive creator. You become the stronger person
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
The choice is yours as to how quickly healing after divorce will happen. If the past is final then divorce has closed the door on what has been, but that is not to say there aren’t windows into the future. Be the renovator of your life. You can change habits or patterns of the past but only by consistent, concentrated determination and focus. If it takes 21 consistent days to break a habit choose one habit you want to change so you aren’t overwhelmed.
Make this one habit the soul focus of every day’s intention. Write it down, carry it with you, do whatever it takes to keep yourself thinking, dreaming and feeling how changing this habit will change your life. As you complete your change re-set your intention and continue. Journal your progress no matter how small it may seem and if you slip back into the old habit be sure to get back on track as quickly as possible. Don’t blame, shame, criticize, complain or condemn yourself! Everyone makes mistakes. Every mistake can teach you more about what you really want and give you clarity.
YOU CAN DO IT!
Healing after divorce is essential. For some it’s easier than for others and there should not be any comparison. You are who you are and your relationship was unique. What really matters is how you take your uniqueness and love it. Be the change you want to be so you can design your life as only you can.
