When parents get a divorce, especially if there is a battle, it is almost always very traumatic for the children involved. The effects of divorce on children will depend on the gender, age and developmental stage of the child, and how bitter the fight between their parents is. Each year, over a million children in America feel the affects of their parents’ divorce.
Divorce will change your kids life
Studies indicate that whenever parents go through a divorce, children fear the change they will face. Children often have a fear of normal change, let alone the change of their parents divorcing. Children of divorce quickly realize that from here on out, things will never be the same. It goes beyond Dad and Mom not being around all the time. They can also lose contact with extended family on either parent’s side. School, mealtime and bedtime routines change. Everything seems to be in a constant state of turmoil.
The effects of divorce on children go beyond their daily routine. They can easily develop a fear of being abandoned. When Dad and Mom are considering separation or already separated, children have a rational fear of losing one parent or another. This fear is exaggerated when their parents are fighting, especially if they perceive that they are fighting over them.
The effects of divorce on children, especially when there is intense conflict between their parents, can also lead a child to be hyperactive, suffer from some sort of impulsive disorder or become aggressive. It has been shown that a contested divorce battle can minimize a child’s ability to handle difficult and even simple difficulties in life.
Depending on the child’s maturity and personality, these effects of divorce on a child can be long-lasting. Children of divorce often grieve as they would if they were mourning the loss of a loved one. Their parents cooperation with each other, and presentation of a united front for their children can substantially minimize some of these adverse effects.
Parents Can Make A Difference in Divorce Effects On Child
Children of divorce can feel that they have no sense of belonging unless their parents make a concerted effort to work together to minimize the impact of the divorce on their children. The children can survive, and even thrive if their parents use good judgment, and allow and encourage the children’s positive, loving feelings about the other parent.
Parents can help their children to see that, instead of feeling like their home is broken, they now have two homes. It is becoming more common for children to spend equal time with both parents, whereas before, they would pack up some of their belongings for the weekend and head over to the other parent’s house. Now, children can feel a sense of belonging in both parent’s households and maintain toys, clothes, etc. at both households.
It is important to remember that divorce may seem to only affect the parents, but after a closer look, it is easy to see the effect of divorce on children. The children will follow their parent’s lead on this. If the parents take a mature, positive approach to the change that divorce brings, any negative impact of the divorce itself on the children will be greatly minimized. In fact, if the parents focus on the positive changes, their children will, too.
